A bride-to-be’s viral TikTok has sparked a conversation among viewers about the financial expectations that many bridesmaids face.
TikTok user Dri Buono, known by her handle @dri_buono, used a video posted by @moneytomiles as a starting point to discuss how she made sure her bridesmaids weren’t put in financially difficult situations. The first video that Buono shared has amassed nearly 300,000 views since posting.
According to Brides magazine, there are certain expenses that bridesmaids should anticipate, including bridesmaid dress, bachelorette party, and travel expenses associated with the wedding.
Some costs fall into a gray area, such as hair and makeup.
“This wedding day cost has some blurry lines,” the outlet reported. “If the bride requires each member of her bridal party to have their hair and makeup done, the bride must cover the cost (including tip).”
However, if professional hair and makeup is an option, bridesmaids must pay for themselves.
There are costs a bride is expected to pay, including flower arrangements, transportation to the venue, and gifts for the bridal party.
“[TikToker @moneytomiles] shed light on the financial experience of the CRISIS bridesmaids,” read the caption of Buono’s video.
In her video, Buono said it was the bride’s responsibility to make sure her friends weren’t facing a difficult financial burden.
She said she allowed her wedding party to vote for two different dresses at two different prices and it was optional for them to have their hair and makeup done by professionals.
“I’m not asking that they match their shoes, just that they have a similar style,” Buono said as he ended his video.
In a second videoBuono brought up the bachelorette party.
She said she had planned a bachelorette trip more than a year in advance and gave the wedding party a financial breakdown of what they could expect to pay.
Buono said she was not upset if one of her bridesmaids was unable to attend the trip due to her own financial needs. And, she put all the shared expenses on her own credit card.
“Starting my planning so early and being financially transparent allowed some girls to have payment flexibility, which they really appreciated,” she said. “The more transparent you are, the happier they will be.”
Buono said Newsweek in an email that she was inspired to make these videos after seeing the videos of another TikTok user @moneytomiles.
“I wanted to emphasize and shine a light on the fact that even though the wedding industry is very expensive for both the bride and the bridal party, an expectation of transparency can relieve some of the pressure,” she said. declared.
Although Buono noted that there is an expectation or theme for the bride to get what she wants, she said there should be financial transparency given to bridesmaids on what they can do. expect.
If they can’t afford the plans, Buono said bridesmaids should be able to decline responsibility without fear of losing a friendship.
She said she had never attended a wedding where she felt uncomfortable with any of the financial obligations, although she wanted to be careful not to make her own nuptials uncomfortable and overwhelming.
Viewers rushed to share their appreciation for the videos, with many writing about what they did as brides to make their wedding party feel financially secure.
“Gave my bridesmaids a choice of a bridesmaid proposal box or me paying for the dress,” one viewer wrote. “They all chose [the] dress.”
A former bride wrote that she covered all the expenses for her bridesmaids.
“I gave my bridesmaids a color and they [chose] their dress and shoes,” another wrote. “Told them I really don’t care if they get [their] dress from a thrift store.”
Some commenters have shared that they gave up on a bridal shower due to the financial expectations associated with attending the wedding.
“I gave up being my friend’s bridesmaid because I literally couldn’t afford everything she wanted from me,” one viewer wrote. “I have 4 children.”
Others commented on the generally high costs associated with attending a wedding party, writing that if it’s too expensive, they shouldn’t attend.
“Being a bridesmaid is usually expensive,” one viewer wrote. “Dress, shoes, hotel, hair and makeup. I think the bridesmaid should refuse if she can’t cover it.”
Buono said brides’ expectations have changed over the years, noting that some brides “take things to extremes.”
“Some comments on my post alluded to brides demanding their party travel to Greece, Spain, France and some wild destinations for a bachelorette party, totaling over $8,000 to be at their wedding and attend their events,” she said. “I personally would never ask my bridesmaids to spend thousands of dollars on my wedding, which I find unreasonable.”
For those looking to be more aware of their bridesmaids’ financial obligations, Buono said brides should consider whether they value their friendships or the wedding day dress, hair and makeup.
“When asking your bridal party to attend the wedding, give them an idea of what it will cost, what your expectations are, and stick to it!” she says. “Finally, what happens happens – be ready to return the favor when they get married.”
Marriage advice is frequently shared on the internet.
A viral post on Mumsnet asked for insight into what people would like to know as they plan their weddings.
A woman has received support from TikTok viewers after she shared a video showing she booked a venue for her wedding despite being unengaged.
Another viral clip showed how a couple can ensure they have an unplugged ceremony.
Updated 6/3/2022, 2:48 PM ET: This story has been updated with comments from TikToker Dri Buono.